First, connect.
What am I thinking about when I'm teaching? Naturally, I'm thinking about Nashville numbers, fingering shortcuts, grooves, ear training, dynamics -- the concrete building blocks of music that make up the content of whatever that particular student is learning. But my real top priority is to connect with each individual student. That starts by being fully present, listening attentively to what is said as well as to what is not said but perhaps expressed in tone of voice and body language.
I’m also hoping to convey my love of music, my trustworthiness, and my sincere interest in developing the kind of personal rapport that makes everything else possible. If I don't create and cultivate that unique connection, little else will matter.
I recently received a letter from a 15-year-old student that was a poignant expression of just how critical this relationship can be. Rose (not her real name) is an intelligent, sensitive, and artistic girl who has been taking guitar lessons for about a year. We've been working together in person, but now her family is moving to Texas, so we'll be switching to Zoom, and she wrote me a two-page letter to let me know how much our time together has meant to her.
"The impact you've had on my life in such a short amount of time is crazy and one I won't forget. Thinking about my lesson with you kept me going throughout the week. Then afterward I would go home and think about what we talked about, and it just inspired me honestly. My conversations with you have made me want to be a better person and have taught me more about noticing and thinking about the people around me in a better way, and I'm continuing to do so because of you."
It is deeply humbling to be reminded of the profound and lasting impact a teacher can have on a student, and the younger the student, the greater the potential influence. We can all think of examples from our own early experience where an adult had a huge effect, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse, on our thoughts and feelings about what we were capable of, entitled to wish for, worthy of aspiring to -- in short, who we were or could ever hope to become.
My heartfelt thanks to Rose for letting me into her life, for being so open to our shared connection, and for so generously taking the time to write such a beautiful letter to me -- the following words brought tears to my eyes:
"You are the first person I have EVER clicked with like we have, and I'll never meet someone with the same energy/spirit as you, but I'll be searching for you in other people."